Excavate

You can tell me a thousand times,
that everything will be alright,
but that doesn’t make it true,
especially coming from you.

There is nowhere left to hide,
when I’ve used up all my lies,
there’s nothing left of me inside.

I don’t want to die,
I just don’t want this life,
I’ve tried to hint, that I’m not in this,
but what difference does it make,
when everyone feels the same?

But what happens to me,
when I’m emptied?

It’s been too long,
it’s been too few,
I can’t seem to get through,
especially to you.

I’m raising my white flag,
I’ve had enough of that,
Enemies now seem,
like friends to me,
hoping for peace,
I’m suffering.

I’m being tossed in the sea,
endlessly, trying to breathe.
Give me a break,
before you take and you take,

Stuck in these walls,
they know it all,
and I’m leaving it here.

When you excavate,
this lonely place,
all you’ll find, is my pain.

NaPoWriMo Day 10: Junk Drawer Song

I have Band-Aids to heal wounds from knives,
and should have thought twices,

I have alcohol wipes, to reduce the risk,
that anything sticks.

I have gauze, to wrap a wound,
of any cause, to include
burns, and bees, and
the clumsiness of me.

I have cold compresses, for hot messes,
or heating pads, for muscles mad.

I have pills to hold the hurt,
or curse words to let it burst,

But I have nothing,
nothing,
to heal,
the painful parts,
of my heart.

NaPoWriMo – Day 15 (Music)

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) prompt is: Write a poem inspired by your favorite kind of music.

Okay, clearly I am way behind on NaPoWriMo, but I have a decent reason. I had to focus on finishing my capstone and graduating with my Master’s in Health Systems Administration (not easy going back to school in your 30s, but I am DONE!). This means I have more time to focus on my writing now, and I plan to still finish NaPoWriMo, albeit later.

So, back to the prompt, my favorite genre of music is country. I imagine this poem being sung in the style of Girl Crush by Little Big Town. I don’t know why, but that song was in my head when I wrote it, and I do love the song!

I’m lovesick,
there’s no cure for this,
as much as I wish,
I can’t get over it.

I’m achin’ for your touch,
my body’s heating up,
it’s serious, I’m delirious,
thinking of you,
there’s nothing I can do,
I’m lovesick for you.

I wish I could recover,
find another lover,
to feel less weak,
and find some peace,
but there’s no relief.

My head hurts from all the thinking,
dreaming, and make believing,
I’ve forgotten what’s it’s like,
to not have you infecting my mind.

I’m lovesick,
there’s no cure for this,
if you only knew how,
I’m suffering now,
put me out of my misery,
and say you’ll never love me.

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NaPoWriMo – Day 14 (Inspiration)

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) prompt is: Write a poem that deals with the poems, poets, and other people who inspired you to write poems. So, I was excited to see this prompt because I immediately thought of Gerald Callahan’s essay, Chimera. This essay has inspired so much of my writing since I have a creative writing and health/science background – and his essay was the first piece I ever read that drew on both fields. Years after reading the essay, I wrote a poem inspired by it. See below!

Some of our DNA
are relics of viruses
from past infections
so scientists say.

Envelope viruses like the flu,
carry lipids, protein,
and the stuff of genes,
from the hosts they travel through.

I like to think,
this means:

After years of sharing a home,
and conceivably the flu,
I’ve collected pieces of you,
stored in my chromosomes and genome.

You are not lost, you see,
You make up parts of me, literally,
saved in my “immunological memory.”

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NaPoWriMo – Day 13 (Non-Apology)

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) prompt is: Write a non-apology for the things you’ve stolen.

If I could,

I would,

steal time,

make it mine,

to rewind.

I’d be young again,

playing street hockey,

with neighborhood friends,

without a care in the world.

Or I’d be the girl,

young and free,

exploring my new city,

enjoying the mystery,

of a long life ahead,

with no regrets.

I’d find more time,

to read and write,

and make things right.

I’d do all the things I said I’d do,

and I’d make no apology,

for finding a way back to me,

and you.