I Thought (Poem) and a Typewriter!

This little poem got stuck in my head so writing it down here.

I Thought

I thought I saw you through the window,
your face up against the glass,
blurry, with the rain as your mask.

I thought I heard you in the other room,
shouting, “Coming soon!”
I thought I smelled your oceanic perfume,
the one you wore to make me swoon.

I thought I tasted your kiss,
soft, like the morning mist,
and a long sigh.

I thought for a moment you stayed alive,
that someone still existed in this world I could call mine.

Now, I am pleased to share this beauty. A refurbished 1938 Underwood Champion! Took some time to find a functional one within my price point! I hope to fiddle with it this weekend and maybe type up some poems on it. Can’t wait!

Typewriter

NaPoWriMo – Day 30 (Fascinating Fact)

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) prompt is: Write a poem that engages with a strange and fascinating fact. 

I’m in denial that today is the last day of the NaPoWriMo challenge, so maybe tomorrow I will acknowledge that fact. For now, below is my poem about viruses. It draws from the fact that “eight percent of the human genome consists of viruses.” It’s also influenced by Gerald Callahan’s essay, Chimera.

Some of our DNA
are relics of viruses
from past infections
so scientists say.

Envelope viruses like the flu,
carry lipids, protein,
and the stuff of genes,
from the hosts they travel through.

I like to think,
this means:

After years of sharing a home,
and conceivably the flu,
I’ve collected pieces of you,
stored in my chromosomes and genome.

You are not lost, you see,
You make up parts of me, literally,
saved in my “immunological memory.”

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NaPoWriMo – Day 26 (Senses)

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) prompt is: Write a poem that includes images that engage all five senses.

Springling

I don’t want to feel the sun against my face,
offering its warm embrace.
I don’t want to hear the kids outside playing patty cake,
slapping their hands rhythmically,
rabbits purring, or birds chirping happily.

I don’t want to smell the sweet smoke of the first barbecue,
meat patties sizzling, spring’s perfume.
I don’t want to taste the soft serve ice cream,
from the neighborhood Dairy Queen.
I don’t want to see the world turn green,
or clotheslines replacing drying machines.

All that these signs of spring do,
is show that life continues without you.

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NaPoWriMo – Day 24 (Elegy)

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) prompt is: We’d like to challenge you to write an elegy – a poem typically written in honor or memory of someone dead. But we’d like to challenge you to write an elegy that has a hopefulness to it. 

I decided to write a mostly fictional elegy for the purpose of this prompt and to have hopefulness!

You always kissed me goodbye,
no matter how early, or late, or angry.
You didn’t only give the shirt off your back,
you opened your wallet, you home, your everything,
to everyone.
“It’s the right thing to do.”

You didn’t complicate things.
You kept your moral compass with you, always.
It guided you in every action you took,
and in every word you spoke.

You spoke numbers like words,
adding complex numbers in your head
as easily as saying, “I love you.”

I loved the way you laughed at your own jokes,
far longer than acceptable,
and yet I couldn’t help but laugh with you,
even if we looked crazy together.

And that crazy hair of yours,
how it stood straight up,
always at attention, just like you.

It didn’t matter how many years we got together,
it was never going to be enough.

I still see you though,
in her,
in the times she floods my cheeks with kisses,
in how she says hi to everyone, offering her smile,
and nothing but the truth,
in the math tests she aces without studying,
in the way her nose scrunches when she laughs,
and in her musket-brown, wild hair.

You live on still.
You bubble through her veins.
She inherited your goodness,
your life,
and sometimes that seems like enough.

photo-1518517975499-e631de402415Photo by 

Scraps of Stuff

Scraps of different stuff I found written on post-its, intending to turn into something more. Rewriting the notes here.

I’m livin’ in the shadows,
of your love.
It’s not enough.

—————

Boys like you break hearts like mine.
I’ve given up my life, to lies by boys, who don’t know people aren’t toys.

—————

Maybe there is a limit on love, maybe I’ve used mine up.

—————

I don’t know how to say goodbye,
it always turns into hello when I try.
And you don’t see what I really mean.
I can’t keep hurting like I do, when I see her with you.
It’s like taking bullets to the chest, when I can just be put to rest.
Hope is a stubborn thing, that makes me want to scream.

—————

We’ve poured so much love into this,
and now we’re ruining it with bitterness.

—————

It was so easy to fall in love,
it only got hard when love wasn’t enough.

—————

I don’t want to feel the sun shine. I don’t want to hear the birds sing. I don’t want to see the leaves turn green. All they do, is show the world exists without you.

—————

Words, words, words.
You know how to use them,
and make them hurt.

—————

The sun licks your lips,
shining, glistening,
until they are all I see.

6890935137_20d6cce8f3_o-1400x867Photo: Jonathan Kos-Read   

If I Knew Then

If I knew then, how much it’d hurt to love you now,
Would I find a way to unlove you somehow?

Maybe I wouldn’t show up to our first date,
leave you hanging, waiting,
until you knew it was a mistake.

Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this pain tonight,
I’d be happy, I’d be alright,
at a sacrifice.

If  I could go back,
I’d only relive all the good and the bad,
because there is no other way we’re meant to be,
than as you loved by me.

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