NaPoWriMo – Day 2 (Dialogue)

Today’s National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) prompt is: We’d like to challenge you to write a poem that plays with voice.

– Him – 
I remember all your jokes,
you’d look at me like I was your only hope,
I wanted to be your everything
and that’s what I tried to do,
but I failed you, but I failed you.

I always knew, we were on borrowed time,
I just thought, I’d be just fine
until I fell in love,
I couldn’t give you up, I couldn’t give you up

– Her – 
We don’t know what we don’t know,
So let it go, so let it go.
We’re so young, but our love’s too old
So let it go, so let it go.

I didn’t know, what to say,
when you let me down that day,
so I pushed you away,
just to make you cave, just to make you cave

You never see, what I really mean
If it were me, I’d never leave,
but it’s too late,
It was my mistake, it was my mistake

– Him –
We don’t know what we don’t know
So let it go, so let it go
We’re so young, but our love’s too old
So let it go, so let it go.

I should have never, walked away,
Where would we be, if I had stayed?
Step by step, I live with this regret
You were my best, you were my best.

I can’t be, what you need
no amount of make believe
could change that
we’re suffering, we’re suffering.

We loved as best as we could
but we never should, but we never should.

– Her – 
We don’t know what we don’t know,
so let it go, so let it go
We’re so young, but our love’s too old
so let it go, so let it go

I give you, every reason for peace,
you don’t owe me, anything,
Just find a way, to be happy again,
my dearest friend,
this isn’t the end, this isn’t the end.

because we don’t know what we don’t know
and maybe when, we let this go
we could find, a better home,
so let it go, so let it go.

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NaPoWriMo – Day 1 (Shame)

For the first time ever, I am participating in National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo)! I will be responding to the writing prompts posted on the NaPoWriMo site each day during the month of April. The goal is to write 30 poems in 30 days.  Today’s prompt is: Today, we challenge you to write a poem that is based on a secret shame, or a secret pleasure. It could be eating too many cookies, or bad movies, or the time you told your sister she could totally brush her teeth with soap. It’s up to you. Happy writing!

When I was nine years old,
My mother went to the hospital,
unable to remember,
her own name,
or that I was her daughter.

There she battled for her life while
I went on with my life,
never missing a day of school,
where people would smile,
and teachers would ask if I was okay.
Of course I was okay, I thought.
And the house, already big, only seemed bigger,
without the person who made it home.

The waiting, like a quiet room filled with tension.

Finally I got to see her, lying as pale as the sheets that covered her hospital bed,
with her arms outstretched,
I was happy she knew who I was,
but I didn’t hug her,
because I was afraid her brain disease was contagious,
and I didn’t know any better.
My mom returned home weeks later,
but she wasn’t who she was before.
She was using new words,
and forgetting the words,
she used to know so well.
She was different,
and yet no one questioned it.
We just smiled at her, loving her,
not for who she used to be,
or who she would become,
but for the whole process that she was.

And years later, I found myself wishing I had
hugged my mom.

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Scraps of Stuff

Scraps of different stuff I found written on post-its, intending to turn into something more. Rewriting the notes here.

I’m livin’ in the shadows,
of your love.
It’s not enough.

—————

Boys like you break hearts like mine.
I’ve given up my life, to lies by boys, who don’t know people aren’t toys.

—————

Maybe there is a limit on love, maybe I’ve used mine up.

—————

I don’t know how to say goodbye,
it always turns into hello when I try.
And you don’t see what I really mean.
I can’t keep hurting like I do, when I see her with you.
It’s like taking bullets to the chest, when I can just be put to rest.
Hope is a stubborn thing, that makes me want to scream.

—————

We’ve poured so much love into this,
and now we’re ruining it with bitterness.

—————

It was so easy to fall in love,
it only got hard when love wasn’t enough.

—————

I don’t want to feel the sun shine. I don’t want to hear the birds sing. I don’t want to see the leaves turn green. All they do, is show the world exists without you.

—————

Words, words, words.
You know how to use them,
and make them hurt.

—————

The sun licks your lips,
shining, glistening,
until they are all I see.

6890935137_20d6cce8f3_o-1400x867Photo: Jonathan Kos-Read   

Anger (Song Lyrics) (In Progress)

Anger rules our home tonight,
both of us tired and dreary-eyed.
Bitter words hanging in the air,
that neither of us deserved to hear.
You’re gearing up for another round,
but I’m not sure I can take it now.

I want to scream leave,
but instead, I beg please,
don’t walk out that door,
because it may surprise you to know,
I still love you,
so please don’t go.

We”ll cry out for peace,
make promises we can’t keep,
waiting for dawn to break,
before our hearts do the same.

I want to scream leave,
but instead, I beg please,
don’t walk out that door,
because it may surprise you to know,
I still love you,
so please don’t go.

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We Don’t Know (Song Lyrics)

I remember all your jokes,
you’d look at me like I was your only hope,
I wanted to be your everything
and that’s what I tried to do,
but I failed you, but I failed you.

I always knew, we were on borrowed time,
I just thought, I’d be just fine
until I fell in love,
I couldn’t give you up, I couldn’t give you up

We don’t know what we don’t know,
So let it go, so let it go.
We’re so young, but our love’s too old
So let it go, so let it go.

I didn’t know, what to say,
when you let me down that day,
so I pushed you away,
just to make you cave, just to make you cave

You never see, what I really mean
If it were me, I’d never leave,
but it’s too late,
It was my mistake, it was my mistake

We don’t know what we don’t know
So let it go, so let it go
We’re so young, but our love’s too old
So let it go, so let it go.

I should have never, walked away,
Where would we be, if I had stayed?
Step by step, I live with this regret
You were my best, you were my best.

We loved as best as we could
but we never should, but we never should.

I can’t be, what you need
no amount of make believe
could change that
we’re suffering, we’re suffering.

We don’t know what we don’t know,
so let it go, so let it go
We’re so young, but our love’s too old
so let it go, so let it go

I give you, every reason for peace,
you don’t owe me, anything,
Just find a way, to be happy again,
my dearest friend,
this isn’t the end, this isn’t the end.

because we don’t know what we don’t know
and maybe when, we let this go
we could find, a better home,
so let it go, so let it go.

daria-nepriakhina-262667 (1)

If I Knew Then

If I knew then, how much it’d hurt to love you now,
Would I find a way to unlove you somehow?

Maybe I wouldn’t show up to our first date,
leave you hanging, waiting,
until you knew it was a mistake.

Maybe then I wouldn’t be in this pain tonight,
I’d be happy, I’d be alright,
at a sacrifice.

If  I could go back,
I’d only relive all the good and the bad,
because there is no other way we’re meant to be,
than as you loved by me.

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My Tears Hang Like String (Song Lyrics)

My tears hang like string from your face,
I tie them up so you can keep my pain.
And you’re sitting there, in your chair, signing SOS in the air
How’d we get here tonight?

You turn left, I turn right, I’m afraid we will never reunite.
It gets harder every time
My only hope is we can undo this end and find a new way to be friends again
Is is it okay if I wait for that day?
Or does it make me too afraid?

Oh stranger, stranger can you still love me?
Even if we don’t know who I am?
Oh stranger, stranger will you ever come home?
Or am I to live this life alone?

It’s getting dark, you make a remark, that sounds like a cry
Why’d I? Why’d I? Why’d I?
I have no good reply.
But I want to hide in the past where you can find me, if you ever find yourself  hesitating,
you can always come back to me.

The pressure is getting thick, do I tell the truth to make this stick, or do I open the door
To let in one more lie?
I gotta tie this up tonight.

Why’d I? Why’d I? Why’d I?
Why’d I have to leave?
Why’d I have to believe there was something better for me?
Why’d I have to go?
And leave us all alone?

Oh stranger, stranger can you still love me?
Even if we don’t know who I am?
Oh stranger, stranger will you ever come home?
Or am I to live this life alone?
Or am I to live this life alone?

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